The Love Affairs of Link
by waterdragon719
Summary: Saria likes Link. Well, duh, we all knew that! But when she asks Link who he likes, her plan backfires. Note: I don't support most of the pairings mentioned...but they are pretty funny. Rated T for...well, wait and see.


Okay. I'm tired, I'm bored, I wrote this a month ago. You do the math. It's terrible,m it's shocking, but I found it slightly amusing, so here goes anyway.

And for all of those of you waiting for The Longest Wait (ha ha) to be updated, I promise I'm getting there! Just wait and see. I have to finish the next chapter anyway in two weeks, so there.

* * *

Saria and Link were making daisy chains outside the Kokiri Forest Training area. The activity was rather repetitive, and Saria was getting rather bored, rather quickly. They had already exhausted all other topics (as the weather was always nice in Kokiri Forest they'd ruled that one out pretty quickly), and Link seemed content just to stare out into space forever. Finally worn down, Saria decided to ask Link a question she had been dying to ask for ages, but had refrained from asking because she wasn't sure Link would talk about it. But, under the circumstances, she felt it was necessary. Her curiosity depended on it.

"Do you like Zelda?" she asked casually. Link didn't seem to hear her, but then he looked up, blinked, and dropped his chain on his knee.

"What?" he asked, looking confused. Saria knotted another daisy.

"Do you like Zelda?" she asked. "You're always talking about her and all that Hylian stuff you do, and she _is_ a beautiful princess…" she allowed herself a brief glance at him. He looked very confused, and slightly suspicious.

"And it's you're business…_how?_" he asked. Saria shrugged.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about it." She said, obviously urging him to continue. Link just frowned at her, then picked up his chain and resumed knotting the flowers together absently. Saria waited for an answer, and when he didn't give one she frowned. She waited a little longer, and then she cracked.

"Okay, fine!" she exclaimed, "I'm curious, okay? Do you like Zelda or not?"

Link's face twitched, and she noticed a little smile in the corner of his mouth. The little minx was smiling…she mentally slapped herself. He'd known she was going to beat it out of him; he was just winding her up.

"You really want to know?" Link asked cheekily. "Yes!" Saria whined, no longer caring if she was giving anything away. Link nodded, and then picked another daisy.

"I love Zelda." He said. Saria sighed inwardly, though she wasn't sure if it was out of relief or disappointment. So it was true! She knew it! He loved Zelda! She was slightly saddened, but relieved that she had put herself out of her…

She paused. Link was still grinning. All of a sudden, he burst out laughing, and Saria turned red with embarrassment.

"Your face!" Link snorted. "You seriously believed me. You are the most gullible person _ever!_"

Saria growled. "That's not fair. I thought you were telling the truth."

Link shook his head and laughed again. "The truth is that no, I don't like Zelda. She's just a friend. Are you still curious?"

Saria glared at him sulkily. She was _so sure_ he liked Zelda. She couldn't believe it…he talked about her endlessly, over and over again, Princess Zelda did this, Princess Zelda did that, oh did you see Princess Zelda yesterday; I think I'm going to see Princess Zelda today…

"So who _do_ you like?" she asked, crossing her legs and getting comfortable. She had to determine this once and for all. "You must have met heaps of nice people in Hyrule. You can't tell me there isn't _one_ that you like."

Link stopped laughing, and his face grew slightly more serious. His cute boyish features showed a mixture of shyness and deep thought as he tried to gather his words.

"There were a few." He said slowly. "But I never really _liked_ any of them. Not like _that_ anyway."

"What about Malon?" Saria prompted, trying to remember the stories he had told her and all the women he'd met on his travels. Link scrunched up his face.

"She calls me fairy boy all the time." Link replied. "And I never forgave her for giving me a stupid _cow_ when I beat her in the obstacle race."

"Princess Ruto? She thinks you're marrying her right?"

"Ruto?! No way! She's crazy! I'd have to be _totally out of my mind_ to spend even an _hour_ with that crazy fish girl!"

"Impa?"

"Five million years old."

"Nabooru?"

"Stole my pocket watch. And she still owes me twelve rupees from the Bombchu I gave her a month ago."

"Ganon?"

"Saria!" Link cried, punching her in the shoulder. "That's just _wrong_!"

Saria shrugged. "Well, you didn't give me any other suggestions." She paused, suddenly fearful, "You don't…like the cuccos do you?"

Link glared at Saria. "Saria, that is not…that's just….you are so gross."

Saria threw her hands in the air. "Well, _who do you like?_ Just put me out of my misery and _tell me!_"  
Link sighed. "Fine. If you really want to know, they are in Kokiri Forest."

Saria paused. Her heat fluttered madly in her chest. "Really?" she asked, shuffling a little closer to him. Link nodded.

"Is it somebody you see every day?" She asked. Link nodded.

"Is it somebody who likes the Lost Woods?" She asked. Link nodded.

"Is it somebody who you've known all your life?" she asked. Link looked right at her, and she felt his beautiful violet eyes boar their way into her soul. Saria waited in anticipation. Who did he like? And why was he looking at her so intently?

_I love S-_

Link grinned. "Hey Mido!"

Saria blinked. Link was looking over her shoulder, grinning wildly. She turned around and saw Mido standing behind her, glowering at everybody as usual. He looked over at Link and narrowed his eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked bluntly. Link stood up and walked over to him.

"Let's go cut some grass in Lost Woods." He said. "It's looking pretty shabby, don't you think?"

Mido's eye's narrowed further.

"Okay…" he began slowly. "But only because I have nothing else to do, _Hylian_."

By the time Saria had realised what was going on, Link and Mido were already off to the woods, Link skipping along happily. Saria's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in surprise.

"Oh the goddesses…" she muttered as she watched the two boys enter the Lost Woods. Then she promptly fainted. Navi, who had previously not been in this story, flew over and surveyed her.

"Poor child." She said, tutting. "But honestly, the white tights gave it away."

* * *

I wanted to kill Malon when she gave me the cow. I spent hours trying to do that course, darnit! Oh well.

I always did wonder about the tights.


End file.
